"I'm the most patriotic," said the politician.
"No, I am," asserted the other politician.
"But, seriously... I am," responded the first.
"Fuck you! I'm the most fucking patriotic," the second shot back.
At 5:58 p.m., I had the television tuned into the debates. There might as well have been nachos and buffalo wings on the coffee table in front of me; the debates are usually my favorite sporting event. I yell at the television and -- depending on who I assert has won -- start riots around the city.
However, the first presidential showdown proved to be anti-climatic. There were hardly any "Oh, snap!" moments. It remained relatively placid and mediocre. Even worse, the two candidates both behaved like that friend who everybody hates because he always tries to one-up everybody else.
This is a debate, not the Dr. Phil show.
What were you thinkin'?
But as Sen. John McCain and Sen. Barack Obama went back and forth about, "He did this, and I did that." and "I got a bracelet from a solder, and I wear it with pride" retorted by: "Well, so did I. And I wear mine with even more pride," all I could think about was the petty arguments of our youth.
I almost expected to hear one of them say, "Well, you're not invited to my birthday party anymore."
As per playground style, flashy words and phrases were thrown out, regardless of their validity. This morning, the Associated Press released a fact check sheet about some arguments used in the debates. Most of the subjects McCain urged viewers to "look up," turned out to be completely erroneous. Although Obama isn't totally innocent in his assertions, McCain seems totally oblivious about that new fangledy square object, filled with a "series of tubes" -- able to uncover facts at the touch of a button. Or maybe he just forgot.
Let's hope that each candidate abandons playground politics before the next debate -- and gets real fierce.
You wanna be on top?
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